It's kind of an odd position I put myself in with my blog, because I never know the WHOLE story, so obviously I can't tell people what's right or wrong for them. I CAN tell you about my experiences, and what worked and did not for me.
(Aside: I've been writing this blog for long enough that I have changed immensely as a human. So, I look back at old posts and can feel quite differently about certain subjects, but I'm not going to change my past. It is what it is. As always, I just hope to help you all out, and I hope you remember that these are just my opinions.)
I recently received the following from a law school student who describes a sort of lose-lose situation that scares him. He seems to feel trapped between soldiering on through law school (which isn't his cup of tea) and facing the workless state of quitting law school:
"I have been contemplating quitting for a while now. I am beating myself up and losing sleep over it. I feel like I want to pull the trigger and quit school but I can't fully justify myself to do it. I want to be able to tough it out, or man up, or suck it up as my father would say. I know I can plaster on a smile and get through it all. I know I can. I just don't know if I want to. My grades after the first semester were average, definitely not happy about them but know I can improve. Truth is I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm already going to be 50k in debt if I quit, with no job, no income, hardly any relevant work experience and a major in criminal justice that is rather useless. I'm also scared that i'll stay in and just go through the motions and become a lifeless zombie. I don't know what to do with my life now. To think that I always heard the stories of how law school will break you down and make you depressed. I never thought it would happen to me until now. Thanks for letting me vent though. It feels good to get it off my chest. "
To Shane,
I think one of the things that I and many other former/current law school students deal with is not cutting themselves some slack. Admittedly, I felt as you have described many times. My mother was the voice of the "just suck it up" mentality. In fact, one of her very favorite "pep" talks for me consisted briefly of, "Life sucks, then you die." (Thanks, Mom!*) But with that and my own desire to never quit things in my head, I felt obligated to just keep going. Sometimes though, it's the amply better decision to make the choice to change paths. To cut yourself some slack and say, "This isn't my thing." Most people I've met that are driven to the legal field to one degree or another aren't really possessed of the ability to change their desired course too easily. They're often a quite determined people.
*To be fair to my mother, she often was there to pick me up in a much more encouraging and loving way.
I'll tell you though, when I finally admitted that my best route to happiness lay without the law... it was a freeing experience.
I'm going to tell you the same thing I've said to many others. You can find work. You were driven and talented enough to get into a law school (something that people tend to respect in and of itself), and to get "average" grades. While you probably hold yourself to a higher standard than "average," that still means you were adjudged better at that semester of law school than roughly half of your classmates. Believe me, there is work out there for you that can be fulfilling and, perhaps, even lucrative.
With regard to your "major in criminal justice that is rather useless," any degree can be helpful these days. I've come to experience the strange phenomena in the real world that the majority of subject matters for college degrees don't really seem to matter when it comes to applying for jobs in a different industry. I have a history degree, and I am moving up the chain in a marketing company. Just having an undergraduate degree seems to be enough for many jobs. (Kind of in the same way that high school diplomas used to be all you needed.) My point--you can find work having established that you were capable enough to finish a four year degree... even if it's not in the exact subject matter that will apply to the company/work you're applying for. To be real, maybe the work you start with won't be ideal, but in my experience, you can work to turn it into or transition into an ideal job for you.
As for the lose-lose situation that is scaring you, I'd simply advise you to go to your network. I don't necessarily mean your network for finding new work, but I mean reach out to anyone you feel you can trust and talk to about these things. This may require that you talk to a school counselor, medical professional, professor, or friends. It can be tough to talk face-to-face about this situation, but in my experience it helps. (And you can always send me more emails to vent or talk through your feelings.)
In summary, this doesn't have to be a lose-lose for you. Perhaps the best thing for you will be to find what you love about the law and law school and power through. That might be your win. Or, alternatively, your win might be having the guts to quit and try something totally different. It can be a scary prospect either way, but I'm confident you can find happiness in one path or maybe either path.
For those that see yourselves in what feels like a lose-lose, I just hope that you'll see the big huge world that exists outside of law school. Life is full of SO many directions, paths, and opportunities. Don't lock yourself in a prison that is only in your mind.
Please talk it out with those around you, or feel free to contact me!
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