How to Escape It All

I don't know how helpful I'm actually being for all of you because I don't really hear from any of you.  I get very few comments (what, like two comments from visitors?)   However, I do look at the search keywords that Google tells me visitors used to find my blog.  Apparently my blog is now pretty much where Google is sending all of you that are thinking about quitting.  I don't know much about what you're all going through specifically, but I do see from the search terms that some of you use, that a lot of you are stressed.  Believe me, I DO understand what that's like.

Before I decided to take a break from law school, I was completely stressed out.  A year ago, I couldn't believe that this great adventure I had wanted to go on was actually more of a really tough to get through afternoon television melodrama.  I wasn't getting what I had wanted, I wasn't feeling like I wanted what I was getting, and I felt myself compromising so many of my own character traits and ultimate career desires just because I had already begun down this law school road.  I just wanted to run away.  I can't tell you how many times I joked with friends that I was just going to cash all my law school loan money out of the bank at once and flee to some distant inexpensive country and live like a king for a while.  I was just trying to keep pushing because I was so afraid of what people would think if I quit, and I was afraid I would never be able to overcome the debt-Everest I had already accumulated.

Well, you know now that I am among the very few who have widely published their stories of quitting their legal educations (I had no idea how many international people would be reading this blog!  (2nd parenthetical:  Apparently no one in the Philippines likes law school.))  So I think I've pretty safely gotten over caring what people think about my decision.  In fact, when my friends or new people I meet ask me what's going on in my life, I generally start with, "Well, I was in law school for a couple years, but I recently decided to quit."  I'm very much over that one.  And I've explained some of the reasons that I, as someone who got American federal education loans, am not as freaked out about that 6-digit number that loomed daily in my mind.  The debt is rarely on my mind these days, and that is a complete 180º change from the same time a year ago.

So what happened in the last year?  Like I've said.  I took my break.  I decided I was going to move back in with the folks, take a semester off of school, and just retool my life.  I was going to do all these great things that were going to make me come back and kick law school's ass.  Among the things I did in the initial flurry of excitement about possibilities was get my passport.  I had never had a passport in my life, and the only international travel I had ever done was to Mexico.  (Which used to never require a passport.)  I was pumped.  (I also got a dog?)  I was calling it my gap semester, and I was going to just disappear for a while and go to New Zealand or somewhere far far away.  Then ... the stress crept back in.  The law school debt!  I reverted back to my usual self.  I would get so completely afraid of the ramifications of any slightly major decisions, so I would just never do anything.  I didn't go to New Zealand, or even leave the country.

I went back to legal work, and it was a job that I really had wanted.  I loved working in the courtroom the first time I had done it, and I wanted another chance to do it on a more regular basis.  The job was great, but I still just wasn't feeling that legal practice was what I wanted.  On top of other very influential personal feelings, experiences, and forces in my life, it all just became very clear when I was sitting in the courtroom one day.  I am only going to be happy again if I just let this go.  (See the second post on this blog.)

So I did.  I quit.  In the flurry of excitement over new possibilities (again), I started this blog, began job hunting, and starting trying to live out some of the dreams I had begun focusing on.  (See the third post on this blog.)  One of the things I had written, was to leave the country and go on an awesome vacation in a different corner of the planet.  Well, unfortunately, I didn't want to do this on my own, and I'm not exactly rolling in the dough right now.  Despite these things, I still came really close to booking a European cruise a couple times.  I waxed a little more practical and decided that I'd settle for checking off a bucket-list item that hadn't made my "dreams" chart that I had filled out.  So I booked a free flight to New York with my SkyMiles and I watched a bunch of US Open tennis matches.  It was amazing.  I had always wanted to go to a major tennis tournament, and now I have!  (Thanks to a great friend that let me crash at his place as well.)  So, I checked a long-desired experience off my life's to-do list, and came back so much more prepared to face any challenges that quitting may have put in my way.

This is a far more anecdotal post where most of my blog posts are about advice.  So, I guess here is the advice for you to take away if you actually have read these bumblings: after you've quit (or maybe before?) find a way to force yourself to escape for a minute and recharge the batteries by doing something that you actually REALLY want to do.  Something you've always wanted to do.

Now that I did that, I am fine that I might not get to leave the country for a long time.  I have gotten a job that lets me write.  I have made up my mind about my exact plan of action for the next few years.  And I even have gotten involved in a start-up tech company that is letting me really explore things I've always wanted to try, but never dared.  (And I'm not living with the folks anymore.  Love you, mom and dad!)

Escaping, even if just for a week, to do something that I think is awesome, really started me on a much better path to making quitting completely worth it.  I love where I am, and I can promise you that I would not be this happy if I was in the midst of another law school semester right now.

What stress?

How NOT to escape it all:  Man Committed Crime to Escape Law School


(One last parenthetical: I know that many of you are still stressed:  )

Next time on How to Quit Law School:  Questions from readers?  Or, if there still are none, regret.